In reflection of “BellTalk” today, I still wonder about the individuals who are sitting at home, or at work among the people that interact with them on a daily basis. I can’t help but feel that there’s more to this whole movement that many individuals are not addressing or just completely oblivious to because everyone was busy forwarding a “post” and forgetting about the whole meaning behind it.
Here’s the thing, from my own personal experience, I went through an unbelievable amount of mental, verbal, emotional and racial abuse at the hands of individuals whom I fully trusted and looked up to. It was a mind-bender of an ordeal. I was in an environment of higher learning and the intimidation tactics that were deployed were directed specifically to me without the awareness of my peers. The PTSD that followed was not a pretty experience either. Of course, I’ve also gone through emotional triggers on various occasions as well as a result of this horrible experience. So trust me when I say that sometimes, it takes a lot to release yourself from the damage that broken people can cause, but the end result of emotional freedom is well worth the long haul to recovery.
On a side note, can you imagine the spiritual poison that is actually dispersed from these negative, sick individuals and how it affects their mentality and actions to deliberately hurt others? I cannot comprehend the kind of Karma that’s waiting for people who do this without remorse or regret. I have never wished anyone bad, but when speaking to others about their unpleasant experiences, I’ve learned that for every action, there is an equal reaction that is waiting to be unleashed when we least expect it. That’s why it’s a good idea to live a life of integrity. Make your wrongs right, as soon as possible and seek forgiveness from those you have hurt intentionally or not. This is the way to a peaceful lifestyle that attracts higher vibrational blessings to effortlessly come your way.
My counselor at that time had an interesting perspective which was not in alignment of my own personal values. So once again, confusion about how to proceed without the influence of these bad experiences took a lot of inner healing and forgiveness, on my part alone.
Yes, I did file a Human Rights Lawsuit. YES, I did win it, but here’s the kicker. I did not gain any monetary compensation for the days, nights, months and years of abuse. All because of a “clause” preventing me from disclosing details based on conditions if I accepted the financial damages compensation. I will say that no amount of money could ever cover the toll it took on my immediate family and myself. I thankfully survived many days of contemplating suicide and thought of ending it all by driving off a rocky ridge along the Highway. You see, I was driving literally without any sleep for days at a time due to the seemingly unending emotional and mental strain brought on by my abusers. Life became so stressful that I ended up either carpooling or paying for commuting to my destination, because I didn’t trust myself any longer, and the mental exhaustion of re-writing research papers for my portfolio was never-ending. It did not stop until discovered by one of my peers who was able to identify what I was living through for what it was…’pure living hell.” On the plus side, my rewritten perfect research papers were better than ever and actually prepared me for my secondary career as an Author and the Publisher of my own publishing company today. If you could have seen the comparison of my papers to my peers’ submissions, you would be just as confused at the unfair grading and blatant discrimination right there in bright red ink. It’s just amazing when I do look back at that ordeal that I endured, and where I am today.
If you’re feeling burdened by something you’re not sure of that involves the way someone is treating you, please talk to someone else asap. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be afraid of what anyone else is thinking. Don’t discourage yourself from getting the attention and support you need. I also had another separate experience where a student approached me to share her abusive situation and I didn’t know what to say to her. So, I directed her to the guidance office immediately. I only trust that she received the support she needed.
“You just need to be fearless and own your life once again.”
Maybe, you’ve reached out already to someone you trusted, only to be discouraged or felt like you were too much, don’t let it go. Speak up and ask others if they’ve experienced similar feelings. We live in a world with so many hurting people. Not everyone talks about their “stuff” because they feel they’ve overcome it, but yet it shows up via emotional triggers. Healing from past trauma is deep stuff and you need to get to the emotional roots. That’s where the real healing takes place. Remember, you are worth it, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s just their demons talking anyways, if they can’t see your pain. You don’t need that hurtful drama any longer. #Breathe. #Release. #Heal.
I want to say that you’re not alone in what you’re going through right now. You just need to be fearless and own your life once again. You see once you connect to the right people who are ready to help you, that’s where the magic happens and you begin to solve the mystery of mental manipulation.
For those of you, who have been blessed to never go through such horrible experiences as some of the people you’re connected with, take a moment and recognize how important people are in your life. We all need each other. You may have offense against someone today but what would happen if they were the only one who could save your life? Everything changes when we look at our own mortality from a different perspective, give it a try. I guess being a nurse has given me more insight about Human psychology than my textbooks ever did.
I encourage you to start forgiving more with intention to release all negative attachments. That stagnant energy is dangerously unhealthy. If you’re posting great posts about love and empowerment, remember it does not make a difference unless you are actually living it towards “everyone.” If you’re going to church regularly it does not make you a beautiful person, no matter how “fly” your outfit is, living like Christ actually did – does. Observe people closely, because they’re observing you
I’ve noticed that when we start being super selective with who we feel is “our tribe” we’re missing the whole point of things like BellTalk. You are only helping to create segregation all over again, subliminally through your “beautiful messages” and isolating the rest of humanity that does not fit your agenda. This is a HUGE problem. Let’s not make the same mistakes and repeat history through different shoes. Just consider being love, in love with life and all living things. Your well-being will dramatically improve and you’ll start attracting so much more joy and healing in your life.
Today, I can honestly say that I never knew that finding peace could be so priceless and life-changing. I didn’t get any compensation because I chose me. Interestingly enough at that time I never knew that my voice mattered so much. I never knew that one day, I would be making such a huge impact in so many lives around the world as an internationally published author in so many gorgeous books. Someone tried to steal my destiny, but they only empowered me even more. I’m not not just as a highly skilled Registered Nurse, but I’m also a Certified Professional Coach and successful indie Publisher, mom of two incredible boys, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Had I only looked at the money through eyes of desperation, it may have shut down my creative voice and greatest potential. Plus, I would never have grown up to become the beautiful, successful, happy, healthy and satisfied person that I am today. I am #Priceless and I am Abundantly #Blessed.
Thank you for reading my message. You are only who you choose to be. God is always close to the broken-hearted and only a whisper away. You are in my prayers.
I wish you Joy, Love and Peace always.